Whatever one’s feelings about the inevitable end of the physical life, more resources have become available for people and their loved ones who are facing life-limiting circumstances.
Locally, some faithful are responsible for delivering such care, while others experience the specialized treatment during those months, weeks or days leading to death. With a focus on comfort over pain, and support instead of fear, the sacraments, palliative care and even hospice are said to be “for the living.”
A recent poll by the Pew Research Center showed that concerning the afterlife, three-quarters of U.S. adults say they believe in heaven. A CBS News poll also found that 54% “don't spend much, or any time thinking about their own death.” Thirty-one percent in that study responded that they spend “some time” thinking about it.
Preparing for heaven may be a journey that works its way out like taking the long way home, but for some, a diagnosis of a terminal illness or other major infirmity places the “line in the sand” within view.
Deacon Brian Nosbusch, who was ordained to the permanent diaconate by Bishop Dale J. Melczek in 2003, has spent that entire tenure focused on a ministerial role, specifically offering a unique combination of “being present, being patient and being pastoral,” to those in residential assisted living.
At Saint Anthony Majestic Care in Crown Point, he directs pastoral care for those residing in 50 apartments subdivided for dementia, long-term and skilled specialized care. The opportunity to work in the setting followed his experiences in hospital and prison ministries.
“We’re called to be with people and make their days the best they can be,” said Deacon Nosbusch. “I’m very blessed to be a deacon for my job.”
Deacon Nosbusch is a firm believer that “death is not the end,” which allows him to journey with the terminally ill and their families and friends, helping to assuage guilt, fear and other commonly observed reactions to terminal illnesses.
“Sometimes there is nothing you can say for both the family and the resident other than being present with them and in prayer,” Deacon Nosbusch explained. “The Holy Spirit helps you on your job.”
Leslie Davies, manager for palliative care in 23 counties served by Franciscan Health and for hospice care in Hobart, said she parlayed many years of nursing experience to work in a care area that provides “dying with dignity.”
Medical sources commonly define palliative care as intervention focused on providing relief from pain for those with serious illness. Hospice care is a form of that specialty that offers assistance to a person whose prognosis indicates they may be in the last six months of their lives.
Davies, who is responsible for directing care from Crawfordsville to Munster, said that dozens of volunteers have stepped up to work in hospice companionship roles. Together, this virtual army ultimately “helps families live out their wishes.”
“We have family members (assisting)– some feel it helps them grieve, also,” Davies said. “If someone had a loved one in our services, there has to be a year pass before they can join on a volunteer role.”
Just as Davies and Deacon Nosbusch strive to help clients to have a peaceful journey into the next life, those benefiting from the care offered by hospice staff return their gratitude to the practitioners.
During a drive to Northwest Indiana from her home in Peoria, Ill., Cindy Dollman reflected on recent months that were a whirlwind of emotions. On Sept. 14, her boyfriend’s mother Leah Faulkner lost her battle with cancer.
The interstate drives to aid Leah Faulkner increased in frequency as metastatic cancer spread to eventually appear in all areas besides her brain and bones. Dollman said that she, her boyfriend Gregory Faulkner and other family members were amazed by the personalized care provided by Franciscan Hospice staff members, who visited the once-active senior’s Cedar Lake home.
The staff’s efforts to help the client with bathing and housekeeping freed up moments for the family to be in each other’s presence and in conversation.
Yet, the most memorable part of that shared three-month journey to let a loved one go to “walk with Jesus,” was the perspective that the dying gave to those around her.
“Leslie (Davies) said in all of my years of hospice I’ve never seen the patient be the one to help the mourners,” said Dollman, of the deceased, who was a 37-year nursing veteran. “She was very honest about what she was feeling and what stage she was at.”
Deacon Chris McIntire of St. Joseph the Worker in Gary, who spent 27 years in family medical practice, often returns to the inspiration he gleaned from his reading of the life of St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta. Known for combining a gentle demeanor with an extensive knowledge base as a physician, he said, “Love is for the other person and of God.”
As a physician on the staff of Hospice of the Calumet Area directing transitional and pre-hospice care, Deacon McIntire prescribes medicine for pain management in various cases, and brings not a “mechanical and impersonal,” presence, but a peaceful trust in the Lord. With that he said he recognizes when “to let go and let God.”
At the Munster organization, which was co-founded by Bishop Andrew G. Grutka and Monsignor Joseph Semancik, the deacon is able to live out corporal and spiritual works of mercy. A special focus is his accompaniment of the terminally ill person and their loved ones, especially in the moments when a sense of “helplessness” overcomes them.
“Some people who realize they will never hear their mother’s voice again may ask, ‘how can I stop this?’” said Deacon McIntire, from his office. “Especially if they are young, the (patient) may ask, ‘How can I be here for my children?’
He added, “I tell them this is a moment. I don’t understand it. But it’s in God’s hands and I give it all to God.”
Caption: Deacon Chris McIntire, a physician on the staff of Hospice of the Calumet Area, admires photos of organizational events, in Munster on Oct. 25. Known for his gentle but realisitic consultations with patients and their loved ones, the Gary-based deacon said his work and prayer life is inspired by the compassionate charity of St. Mother Teresa of Calcutta. (Anthony D. Alonzo photo)